Healing Hearts
Educational Blog for Families Providing Foster Care
6 Tips to Make Your Foster Child Feel Seen
August 22, 2023
– Blog
Ensuring foster kids feel seen is one of the best things you can do for them. Most foster children have experienced significant trauma and upheaval in their lives, often face feelings of invisibility and neglect. Being placed in foster care can further exacerbate their feelings of being overlooked or forgotten.
By making foster kids feel seen, we can provide them with a sense of belonging and validation. This can help boost their self-esteem, improve their mental health, and ultimately contribute to their overall well-being.
Additionally, when foster kids feel seen, they are more likely to develop trusting relationships with their caregivers and peers, which can positively impact their social and emotional development. Not only is truly seeing your foster child a compassionate act, but also a necessary step in ensuring their successful transition into adulthood.
Here are a few ways to make your foster child feel seen:
1. Give them individual attention:
Spend quality one-on-one time with your foster child, engaging in activities they enjoy or simply having meaningful conversations. When your foster child first arrives at your home, make sure to spend some time learning what activities they like to do. If its reading, plan a trip to the library or a local children’s bookstore. If they enjoy movies, ask them if they would like to pick a film for movie night each week.
2. Listen actively:
Show genuine interest in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Practice active listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and asking follow-up questions. It may be tough to hear their stories, but some children desperately need an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. Sharing their perspectives on their trauma is a positive step toward healing.
3. Celebrate their achievements:
Acknowledge and celebrate their accomplishments, no matter how small. This can be done through verbal praise, rewards, or even creating a special memory or tradition to commemorate their achievements. You can place a piece of artwork on the refrigerator, take them out for ice cream after a good day at school, and tell them how proud you are of them for each positive action.
4. Involve them in decision-making:
Include your foster child in decisions that directly affect them, such as choosing their own clothes, deciding on activities, or participating in family discussions. Allowing children to make even the simplest decisions for themselves creates a pathway to positive empowerment and self-respect.
5. Create a safe and supportive environment:
For a child who has been through trauma, unconditional love and support may be a foreign concept. Foster a nurturing and accepting atmosphere where your child feels comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment or punishment. Encourage open communication and provide emotional support when needed.
6. Advocate for their needs:
Be their voice and advocate for their needs within the foster care system, school, or any other relevant setting. Ensure they have access to necessary resources, services, and opportunities to thrive. This will show them that you are actively working to meet their needs and prioritize their well-being.